The potential of the New Year
The following article was written as an introduction to the Resolve course by Bishop Roger Morris.
The champagne bottles are out with the recycling, the fireworks are a dim and distant memory, and another New Year’s Eve (or NYE as the text-speak generation now call it) has been and gone. Whether you partied like it’s 1999 or stayed at home watching television, the chances are that you will have thought about New Year resolutions.
When we think about it, most of us can list things that we would like to improve. We might want to exercise more, get more sleep, read more or learn something specific (like a language or a new skill). We might want to have some fun, spend more time with loved ones or learn to be more patient with those whom we find difficult. We might even have plans to get a new job, move house or build a shed. Somewhere in our imagination is a better version of ourselves that we would like to see become a reality.
The temporary lull in activities between Christmas and New Year can be a good time for us to reflect on the previous twelve months. For some of you, memories of the past year will be overwhelmingly positive. You may have met or married the ideal partner, enjoyed some great family occasions or secured a promotion at work. For others, the last twelve months may have been full of sadness, pain or loss. Of course, last year might be remembered as the year that we ourselves messed up, made wrong decisions or just watched as everything fell apart around us. Perhaps that is why some people decided that it was safer to just stay in and watch television.
In Ecuador, people gather on New Year’s Eve for the traditional burning of the ‘año viejo’ (‘old year’). Cloth or cardboard effigies are burned at midnight in order to purge the year of all the old habits, failures, regrets, bad luck and evil from the previous twelve months. Certainly, as we welcome in the New Year, we might already have in mind some elements of the past twelve months that would be distinctly unwelcome. Making New Year resolutions says as much about what we don’t want to continue as it does about the kind of person we would like to become.
Alfred Nobel was famous for being the inventor of dynamite. On one occasion, his brother Ludvig died while visiting France, but a French newspaper mistakenly printed Alfred’s obituary—which Alfred duly read. The obituary said, “Le marchand de la mort est mort” (“The merchant of death is dead”). It went on to say, “Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday.” It must be an odd experience to read your own obituary, but it brought about a transformation in Alfred’s life. He therefore re-wrote his last will and testament and set aside the bulk of his estate to establish the Nobel Prizes for science, medicine, literature, and — of course — for peace.
Steve Jobs, the former boss of Apple, was diagnosed in 2003 with a rare form of pancreatic cancer. In 2005, he spoke at a graduation ceremony at Stanford University. During this speech, he revealed that embracing the eventuality of death has best helped him make big decisions. In these moments — moments when we come face to face with our own unchangeable mortality — we are confronted with what is most important, and “all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death,” he said. “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
Looking at both Alfred Nobel and Steve Jobs, it seems clear that becoming a better version of ourselves is as much about turning away or purging ourselves from old habits, characteristics or the failures of the past as it is about embracing something new. When the former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, was trying to explain what Christians meant by ‘repentance,’ he said, “It is more like Jesus tapping you on the shoulder and saying, ‘Turn around. You’re not looking at where it’s really happening. If you could turn around, you would see that you really do belong. Turn around and you’d see that you are welcome. Look at me. Trust me. Believe me.’” It is this turning away or repentance that prevents the past from being like a ghost that invades and haunts the present, or a stick with which we beat ourselves up. “What’s done is done,” as Lady MacBeth said, although she was not perhaps the best example of someone who managed to live comfortably reconciled with her past!
The word ‘resolution’ originally meant to free oneself from or to break apart. With the past put behind us, we are able to reach out to embrace this ‘new and improved’ version of ourselves. But improvement implies change, and change is never easy. Old habits die hard and even newer habits can put up a pretty good fight. Ingrained habits can even feel a little like an addiction. Groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and other organisations dealing with addicts make great use of a prayer that was first accredited to the American writer and commentator Reinhold Niebuhr. The prayer says, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” To change the things that we can change requires courage. Brené Brown, the author of I Thought It Was Just Me, said, “Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor — the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’ Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognise the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as ‘ordinary courage.’”
Courage certainly has to do with whatever lies within. Deep within us are powerful forces that will either enable us to achieve some kind of personal transformation or thwart every effort that we make to bring such change about. The word ‘resolution’ implies that we are resolute or determined to do something. There is a grittiness about this that we will need as the beer and fast food beckon and the gleaming gym takes on the appearance of a torture chamber that we would rather avoid.
It is going to take more than willpower for us to look after our bodies, develop our minds, nurture our souls and deepen our relationships. It will need courage and encouragement, honesty and self-awareness, humility and grace. It is unlikely to be a linear process. There will be lapses, forgettings, failures and disasters. When these occur, we should spend no time on self-recrimination but simply begin again, reminding ourselves that this is ‘how we are,’ but ‘how we are’ can change. Progress will become exciting as intentional behaviour becomes second nature and as new ways of doing things become habitual.
Maybe this is the year that a new edition of ourselves will be published, a new version of ourselves will be released and a new description of ourselves will be circulated.
Happy New Year.